Dressed to Kill

Our local newspaper does a weekly feature called Style File in which they interview some hapless local mall denizen about what she is wearing. Since I'm never going to be interviewed for Style File unless as a wrong example, I decided to interview myself, for fun and because since I retired I have way too much time on my hands:

NAME: Coleslaw

AGE: 63

OCCUPATION: Retired

Tell us about what you’re wearing.

A Land's End cotton sweater, bought on year-end clearance, a two-year-old pair of JC Penney cotton work pants, an even older black cotton jacket, also bought on clearance, a glass necklace my sister-in-law bought me at a craft fair and my dressiest orthopedic shoes. 

Who or what most influences your style?

Pieces that I can wash when I spill lunch on them. Or breakfast. Or coffee.

What’s the best fashion advice you’ve ever gotten?

Whatever it was, do I look like I took it?

What’s your favorite trend right now?

I'm not a follow trends sort of person. To be one of those, I'd have to know what the trends are.

What trend do you wish was already over?

Crocs, although I'm not sure they count as a trend. Maybe they're more like a meme, or a social disease.

Are you a shoe or handbag kind of woman?

Well, let's see, I own one daytime purse and four pairs of orthopedic shoes, so I guess that would be shoes. 

How many pairs do you own?

I could have sworn I just said four.

Name a celebrity whose closet you’d like to raid.

Let's see, who is my size? Aretha Franklin? Sharon Gless? Paula Dean?

Your house is on fire and you can grab only one thing out of your closet. What would it be?

My cat.

Make us laugh. What was your biggest fashion mistake?

I have a picture my parents took of me in my Easter outfit when I was around four. My jacket is buttoned wrong and I seem to have spilled ice cream on it. That's pretty much been my fashion look ever since.