Modesty Forbids

I found the link to A Letter To Girls I Know (on Modesty) in a thread called Dear God, not another warning about modesty on the No Longer Qivering Forums. From the outset, this letter is puzzling. First of all, the title says "to girls I know". If the letter writer knows the "girls" to whom he has written, presumably he knows their addresses and can send them mail directly, but the letter is posted on a blog. This blog is not even the author's blog, but that of someone called "annawood". Perhaps annawood was one of the original recipients of the letter and was so impressed she asked to be allowed to post it. The letter says "girls", though, and annawood also blogs about her home and children, so it is very likely she's a woman, not a girl. Perhaps it was sent to a girl she knows and so came to her attention.  Some backstory would have been helpful.


The author, whom I can't call by name because "the author's name [was] removed at his request" apparently knows a lot of girls, too, because he starts out by saying 

There are two kinds of men: Godly men, and worldly men. What kind of man do you want? I’m betting most of you said “a Godly man.”

So how many "girls" does he know well enough to write letters to advising them about their clothing choices?  A dozen? If he knows them that well, why is he writing them letters at all? Why hasn't the subject come up in conversation? My impression is that the letter was not written to girls he knows at all, but, as with most open letters, it was written to women he barely knows or knows of, and who wouldn't solicit his advice on clothing anyway.  


The thesis of his letter is that to attract a Godly man, "girls" should dress modestly. No wait, they should avoid dressing immodestly. The author never actually gives examples of what counts as modest dress, but he dwells a lot on what counts as immodest dress:

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited. A worldly guy has no problem when girls wear clothes that show off skin, like boxers, high or low-cut shirts, low-rise jeans, and “cute” little swim-suits. He’s a fan of tight-fitting shirts and pants that show off your form, he thinks they’re fine! Worldly guy watches a lot of TV and R-rated movies, isn’t really offended by sexual content or nudity and secretly dabbles in pornography. He’s a “Christian” and makes up a significant portion of your church and youth group. He’s a really nice guy and sees you mainly for your body. If you were to marry worldly guy, he’d bring lots of baggage into the relationship, have intimacy problems, entertain thoughts of other women, and possibly cheat on you.

You know what I see when I read this paragraph? I see this going through our letter writer's mind:

A worldly man doesn’t control himself, rather, he looks at anything that attracts his attention or gets him excited. A worldly guy has no problem when girls wear clothes that show off skin, like boxers, high or low-cut shirts, low-rise jeans, and “cute” little swim-suits. He’s a fan of tight-fitting shirts and pants that show off your form, he thinks they’re fine! Worldly guy watches a lot of TV and R-rated movies, isn’t really offended by sexual content or nudity and secretly dabbles in pornography. He’s a “Christian” and makes up a significant portion of your church and youth group. He’s a really nice guy and sees you mainly for your body. If you were to marry worldly guy, he’d bring lots of baggage into the relationship, have intimacy problems, entertain thoughts of other women, and possibly cheat on you. 

Our author claims that, "When immodestly-dressed girls, magazine covers, or risqué advertisements come into view, Godly guy quickly 'bounces his eyes' away from the image", but even with all that eyeball bouncing, he has an amazing grasp of what immodest outfits a "girl" is likely to be wearing.


So what does he advise a woman, oh, pardon me, "girl" wear to appear modest?

Of course, I understand the desire to look stylish, attractive, and “cute.” It’s important to fit in and get attention. Trust me, it can be done modestly! 

By wearing what exactly? (Sound of crickets chirping) Oh, no, wait, he does suggest one possible outfit.

And you can forget about any guys missing out on how attractive you are because you don’t wear revealing clothing. You could wear a circus tent and we would still know; it’s a gift we have.

I'm not even sure where I'd buy a circus tent in my size, but then, I haven't been a girl since the mid-1960's, so maybe it doesn't matter.


I have to admit, I agree with the author's thesis that what you wear determines what kind of man you attract. The day I read this, I looked at what my husband was wearing and what I was wearing. We both had on jeans and T-shirts. Case closed.