Friday, January 24, 2014


My sister posted this picture of my dad and me to my Facebook timeline, with the comment, “You were the apple of his eye.” The picture was taken at my niece’s wedding, four weeks before my own wedding to John.

I'm the one on the left, rocking that 1980's perm and beaded top.

The impression I got from my dad was that my sister was the apple of his eye. She is the baby, and a sunshiny personality, whereas I am sarcastic and withdrawn. On the other hand, he frequently remarked to me that of all of his five children, I was the only one who was planned. As arguments for family planning go, I’m not too sure how well that works.

I came to realize in time that my dad loved all of his children, including his stepson, but he had a way of praising each of us to the others, which, while not a a bad thing in itself, combined with his habit of teasing and criticizing whichever of us he was with, created the opposite effect of what he was going for, promoting family unity among his widely dispersed offspring. My poor dad. He had the most amazing insight into other people, and as I got older, I relied on his advice on how to handle a wide range of work and life problems, but his insight stopped short of himself. As you can see from the picture, I am my father’s daughter, but I hope not in that respect. 

My sister, however, was not being resentful when she posted, “You were the apple of his eye", just commenting on how happy we look to be together in this picture. My sister is going through a bad time that is testing even her sunny nature, and I have been doing the best I can to provide long distance support. My dad would be proud of how all his children are rallying around her.

Just like he planned.

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